Yes, it's 5am, and yes, I'm not only awake but online and blogging at this ungodly hour, jumping intermittently from an online traffic school and my usual social networking sites all the while listening to my newly acquired "Glee" soundtracks (my most recent pop cultural obsession... lol).
In the vein of my previous Table post, I still find myself wondering why it can't be easier to simply stop contemplating what we should be doing and, you know, get to it already! Why are writers doomed to this eternal inner struggle? Is it this uncommon, more introspective neurotic mindset the source of a writer's power, the simultaneous gift and curse that every creative-minded individual must bear in order to share his or her observations with the world at large? Is that why so many ingenious artists seem to live some of the most tumultuous lives?
If that sounds like a paragraph full of questions, that's probably because I'm in a bit of an inquisitive mood at the moment. Maybe that explains the fact that I'm wide awake and sharing my innermost thoughts with you, fellow writers and, of course, let's not forget my cyberstalking brigade of fans (Don't worry, guys, your "Robert Rocks!" t-shirts will be in the mail shortly! :p).
In any case, I can definitively say that the "quarter-life crisis" is behind me at this point, and since I'm about to officially enter my late twenties in a couple weeks, I'd say I'm right on schedule. On schedule for what, you may ask...
Whereas a couple of years ago, I might have felt somewhat lost as to where I wanted to take this life of mine, I feel that more than ever, I'm closer to finding my place. I have finally landed a decent-paying job doing something that I (for the most part) enjoy, and it feels good to be one of those rare writers that gets paid to write, even if my professional writing doesn't reflect my creative ambitions.
The continuing issue, at least as far as my life as a writer is concerned (in the interest of keeping this post at least ostensibly on topic), is how to fit writing into my ever-hectic schedule. To those of you who frequent this blog (you know, all three of my devoted Table enthusiasts... lol), this might sound like "same ol', same ol'" from me, and you'd be partially correct. I do seem to spend a disproportionate amount of time bitching about my lack of writing progress than I do actually writing, and that dovetails nicely into my next point.
As writers, we spend so much time planning and plotting and outlining our projects that, oftentimes (at least from my perspective), we build it up so much in our heads, essentially psyching ourselves out in the process. In fact, the only reason I was able to finish the first draft of my novel in less than a million years is due to the fact that I simply wrote and wrote with only the vaguest idea where it was heading (much like the writers of LOST... Ba-zing!!). As a result, the revision process that looms intimidatingly in front of me seems even more daunting than ever before.
So, in an attempt to bring this rambling, near-nonsensical post full-circle, let me address the queries I posed at the outset of this post: Do all writers (and creative-minded individuals, for that matter) plagued by the need to overanalyze, dissect and decipher nearly every thought that crosses their collective path, trying in vein to answer the unanswerable and pinpoint what it all means?
I believe so. The difference between those millions of aspiring writers and the lucky bastards who actually get published and make a career out it is their ability to get out of their own heads and shake off any lingering self-doubt or distractions that might impede the realization of their creative vision.
The question that every writer must ask himself or herself is if they are passionate enough about their writing, about getting their work out there, to make it a constant focus... to brave the fickle storm that is life, keeping their compass firmly locked on their objective despite whatever weather they must face to reach their destination (this navigational metaphor working for any of you? haha).
While I have undoubtedly wavered from my path more than a few times, I remain steadfast in eventually getting where I need to be. It's just been taking me a bit longer to set sail is all. But it's all good... as long as I keep one hand steering me in the general direction of my goal. :)
As always, happy writing, and please feel free to comment away! I can always use the ego boost... ;)