Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"Life sucks no matter what so don't be fooled by location change."

I think I got that from a Daria episode....remember that show?

I used it because I've learned something very valuable.

You can't force it.

You can't force happiness.

You can't force feeling amazing.

And you sure as hell can't force writing.

I kept saying it.

"When I get to Michigan I'm going to write a book. Just wait. The muse will hit me again."

Well, I'm here.

And there is not even an inkling of effort in me to write a book.

It got me thinking.

Maybe I'm not MEANT to write a book.

Sure, I'm writing.

But have I ever done anything with writing other than for me or the small community of people I choose to share my writings with?

The answer is no.

It got me thinking.

(Seems to be the trend these days lol)

I dabbled in journalism. Guess what?

I hated it.

So that idea was thrown out the window.

I thought about selling some fiction.

But we all know that's a tough market and you usually have to HAVE money to start that process....which I don't.

Maybe being a "starving artist" isn't so bad?

I think it works for me.

I still write every day that I can. I still LOVE most of what I write.

And I get positive feedback all the time.

Do I really NEED to be a best selling author?

Is it my calling?

Wouldn't it have happened by now if it was?

Now, keep in mind, I'm not knocking anyone's writing goals/dreams/schedules at all.

I just know that they don't work for me.

Writing just works for me.

And writing about WHATEVER works for me.

If I sat here and cried every day because I've only been published in small community publications then I'd probably never pick up a pen again.

So I just enjoy it.

I enjoy reading what I write and sharing it with others.

If ONE person gets something out of what I've written....well then I feel my job is done.

And who knows?

Maybe when I'm dead someone will make a killing off of my old notebooks and whatever they find on my trusty hard drive.

Good for them.

Look at Emily Dickinson and a lot of our fallen comrades.

They didn't live to see their work go anywhere.

But I bet they're happy about it now.

Who knows?

We don't really.

So just keep doing it, fellow writers.

No matter what, if you love it.

And don't give up even if it's not producing the results you want.

If it's meant to happen it'll happen.

And if not....well it was fun to try now wasn't it?