Monday, May 31, 2010

WTF Are We Waiting For???

Sigh… I’m going to be perfectly honest with y’all, fellow writers. Even if it is trapped in its perpetual infancy, The Crooked Table should be a place where writers can vent their frustrations, share their victories and generally speak their mind on any and all topics, from a writer’s perspective, of course. That is, after all, what I envision to be the site’s underlying philosophy.

So here’s my piece: I’m. Sick. Of. This. Shit. If that’s too vague and indistinct for you, allow me to clarify and add a bit of context . I have been thinking seriously about becoming some form of creative writer since the freshman year of high school, when I created the secret agent character whose name I have since adopted as my faux alter ego.

Years passed with little creative development, save for the expansion of an ever-growing laundry list of story ideas and concepts. I began to develop an interest in screenwriting and came up with an entirely new, semi-autobiographical tale to tell. This process involved lots of brainstorming , note-taking and other, more arbitrary preparatory work, but I never completed what I considered to be a satisfactory draft of that story. I blamed this largely on the screenwriting format itself, but really, the problem was that I never developed all my notes and ideas into a cohesive outline. But I digress…

From there, I attempted to team up with a couple different friends of mine on a writing project, but nothing ever came of it. It sucks that it’s even harder to find someone else as committed to writing than it is motivate yourself to do it. Again with the digressions… haha... Don’t worry, I’m getting focused now.

Finally, after a year and a half of little significant writing progress, I took it upon myself to take sole ownership of a project that had been intended to be a collaboration, and last year, I finished the first draft of my first-ever novel. Having given myself Thanksgiving Day as a deadline, I finished that very night, my belly still full of turkey, mashed potatoes and black beans and rice (my family’s Cuban, btw… lol).

Having reached such a milestone, I figured that I had earned a little break from the dark, trippy and hyper-cynical perspective of my main character. However, somehow a break of just a couple weeks has turned into six months. In the blink of an eye, my novel-in-progress has gone from being a constant focus to a dust-gathering memory.

Which, of course, brings me to the title of this post. WTF am I waiting for? I seemed to have a good thing going with this story. Along the way, I had even developed deeper themes, sharper dialogue and innumerable suggestions on ways I can flesh out and repair the skeleton of the initial draft. Even the few people who I’d let read selections from it had given me positive feedback and helped me stay optimistic that what I was doing was worthwhile and not the biggest time-waster of all-time.

So, with all that moving along so smoothly… why is it that I have let so much time go by with picking up the proverbial pen and returning to work? This reminded me of a quote from “Planet Terror,” the Robert Rodriguez-directed half of the 2007 double feature film Grindhouse (of all things…). When one character asks another about her failed dreams to become a doctor, she simply replies, “That’s the thing about dreams. They become the thing you talk about instead of the thing you do.”

If we are truly so passionate about making it as writers, why do we shortchange ourselves by half-assing our efforts? Is it that we’re more infatuated with the romanticized notion of what a writer is and how he represents society through the written word than the rush we get when a project is going really well or when we finally get what’s on paper to match the brilliance in our own heads?

Naturally, for some people, this is the case, but for argument’s sake, if you’re reading this, I’m going to assume that you truly are serious about being a writer. Either that, or you’re one of the many Robert Yaniz Jr. cyber-stalkers out there. You know who you are… ;)

The most obvious reason for slipping into inactivity is laziness. That, coupled with a hectic day job and subsequent sleep deprivation, is probably the most common and certainly the most justifiable reason for letting your creative mindset slip temporarily into the ether. I know that this is usually my default cop-out as to why I haven’t done any work on my novel.

But really, there’s got to be more to it than that, some subversive part of our subconscious that prevents us from continuing to follow our dreams, building ever closer to that fateful day when we can see our work sitting snugly between “Lord of the Flies” and “The Da Vinci Code” on a Barnes and Noble shelf. (Yes, I realize those two books are not classified in the same section, but the point stands regardless… )

I believe it’s the intimidation factor. We know before we begin the near-insurmountable odds that anything we write will ever see the light of day or gain a readership any larger than ourselves, our family members and close friends. This fear of failure cripples us right from the outset. To a writer, there are few things as terrifying and sweat-inducing as the blank page.

This only gets the worry wheels turning even faster… Is my story worth a damn? Do I have any idea what I’m talking about? Is my whole goddamned existence a sham, a self-induced fabrication designed to shield myself from the harsh reality that I possess absolutely no creative talent whatsoever?

And really, it’s an awful lot of time to spend on a pastime that – in all honesty – is unlikely to ever garner us a single cent. That’s when the practical side of us kicks in, attempting to rationalize away our total lack of writing progress on the fact that we’ve been busy with our “real” job. You know, the one that actually pays the bills and keeps us fed and sheltered.

But for us true writers, it doesn’t matter where our paycheck comes from. The act of creative writing, whether it’s screenplays, poems, short stories, songs, novels or whatever… That’s our calling. It’s what drives us and carries us from day to day. It’s not so much something we want to do as something we must do. Without it, we feel like we’re being untrue to ourselves and that eats us up inside.

That’s what I’ve been experiencing over the last several months, and it’s gotten to the point that I’ve undergone so much self-exploration thinking about not writing that it seems a shame to not expound that same amount of energy towards something that I am truly passionate about. Passionate about, but up to now, not 100% committed to. That’s what I need to change… That’s what I need to focus on.

In fact, let me get to it now… I suggest y’all do the same. See ya on the other side! ;)

Happy writing,

Rob

Thursday, October 29, 2009

What did you write today?

Sit down in the chair! Do it now!
Get a pen and paper and write down 5 places you want to write for.
This is the life of a freelancer...

Got those 5 places you wanna write for?
Good...now get up out of the chair and head to the library and find those publications and study the crap out of them.

Studied up? Fantastic! Now sit back down in a chair and with 5 pieces of paper. At the top of each piece of paper write the name of the publications. example-at the top of Page 1 The New York Times Page 2 Penthouse Magazine and so forth and so on....yes I'm aware Penthouse will not be at the library, but I digress....

On each of these 5 pieces of paper brainstorm and write down ideas of articles that you could potentially make query letters out of for these places....

Once you have done that find out how the publications go about accepting queries. If they don't no big deal because at least you had an exercise in brainstorming. If they do accept queries, then what the hell are you waiting for? Write one!

Write your best idea to each publication that you dream of writing for and then wait....and wait...and wait...hopefully soon you will receive a letter, an email or a phone call that your idea has been accepted...

While you wait to be accepted keep doing it. Constantly be studying the publications you want to write for and constantly be sending in good ideas to them.

As Dr. Wilber from the University of South Florida often said, EMBRACE REJECTION!!!

Why should you embrace rejection? Because not only did you at least attempt to get an article in your dream publication, you have now been given the chance to try again. 90% of the battle is trying. Eventually, if your ideas are good, you might get the dream gig. Never give up! Never surrender.

Happy freelancing ya'll!
Ashley Grant www.morethanphotographs.com

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Myth of "Writer's Block"

More than two years have passed since I first intended to write this post, but like so many of my creative endeavors, it has managed to slip through the cracks of real life... you know, that pesky continous distraction that keeps us from nurturing our creative muse. But I've promised myself not to let the reality monster spoil my creative destiny.

A minimum of monthly Table posts is just a part of this package, and I figured the best way to convince myself (almost there! lol) that I'm going to slip into the dreadful dormant state of non-productivity is to return to a post idea I've been burying deep in my subconscious, beneath dozens of episodes of Family Guy and repetitive listens to my vast library of Michael Jackson music. Speaking of, have you guys... Nope, stay focused, Rob...

Anyway, writer's block. Ask any writer who's been at least trying to make headway on any creative endeavor - whether it's a song, a novel, screenplay, poem, short story... anyway, you get the idea - and he or she is destined to blame the lack of progress on that phantom menace (yes, a Star Wars reference... deal with it) known as writer's block.

Symptoms can include a general malaise of indifference when it comes to your own writing, hours spent staring blankly into an empty page and astonishment at the fact that words don't simply manifest out of thin air and perfectly articulate your artistic vision. It's almost as if the words themselves have somehow gone on strike, perhaps as retaliation for the writer's strike of 2007.

Perhaps just because they're tired of being trapped in the confines of your computer screen. Whatever the reason, writers often take extended sabbaticals between (or even during) projects, claiming that they too have fallen victim to the ire of writer's block, as if it's a writer's rendition of the common cold. I've heard this same excuse time and time again, and I have news for you, my friends, writer's block is bullshit.

As writers, we've become so accustomed to the concept of writer's block that whenever we hit even the slightest snag in our work - a character we haven't fully developed, a plot point we can't quite wrap our heads around or even something as trivial as a line of dialogue that's just not coming to us - we rush to blame it on writer's block (as opposed to the a- a- a- a- a- alcohol, that is... lol) like it's some emergency panic button that will alleviate all the stress of, you know, having to come up with a solution for the problem.

At the very least, writer's block functions as a go-to rationale for us to step away from the keyboard without feeling guilty. It gives us something to tell our friends when they ask how our writing is going, buying us a temporary reprieve so that we can instead squander our computer time on MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, etc.. without that lingering sense of dissatisfaction that I too feel when I realize that I haven't written a word of my novel in weeks. More often than not, writer's block is a rationalization for laziness. Yeah, that's right. I said it.

Laziness. "Ooh, I don't know what to write. Let's go see who's on AIM... Yada Yada Yada." Writer's block is what we attribute this to, but in reality, we can't write either because we haven't developed the story enough, because we're distracted by our social or professional attachments or because deep-down we're honestly not passionate enough about the project to weather the storm, trudge through the dark times of writing a project and actually get it done.

Sadly, a lot of people love the idea of being a published writer, of posing as an intellectual storyteller, visions of book signings and celebrity status spinning in their heads. Like any other kind of creative realm, the world of writing is filled with a lot of posers, people who want to be included in the group but who really aren't up to the task of earning it. Writer's block is essentially a way out, a way in which they can still be considered "writers" without having to do any writing. I should know. I used to be one of them.

For years, I touted that "I'm working on my screenplay, working on my screenplay" and yet here I am in 2009, 8 or so years after I decided to write one and the damn thing still isn't done. Part of this has to do, no doubt, with my lack of time and, more importantly, my lack of focus. I wanted to be a writer without writing, and though I had a collection of ideas, I had trouble coalescing those ideas into a cohesive whole, or so I thought.

Though I never necessarily used the term "writer's block" to describe my condition, I can see now that this is precisely the phenomenon I was blaming for my inactivity. I wasn't ready at that point to work for it. I hadn't made peace with the fact that I am not a poser, not one of these young people going through a "writer phase" that I would grow out of. This is who I am.

Storytelling is in my blood, and getting my stories on paper and out into the world is not something I'm going to be able to live with. Therefore, the longer I take, wasting time with all the distractions out there (and in the age of technology, they are greater than ever before), the older I'll get and the more resentment I'll harbor against myself for not making progress on these stories that I've been contemplating for so long.

Ask yourself this question: Is writing something you're really serious about, or is it just a passing fad, something that you'll abandon with no regrets whenever the next thing catches your eye? If your answer is the latter, then you're better off moving on from this writing thing, rather than wasting fruitless years pining after something that you really have no intention of ever getting to.

If you look at it in this light, it becomes kind of hard to blame a mythical creature like "writer's block" for your lack of progress. Let's just call it what it really is. You can't seem to a) make the time or b) find the motivation to make yourself put aside everything else going on in your life and just get it done!

Nobody has ever said that creative writing is an easy task. If it were, then everyone would be a published author. But if you're passionate enough about the project, you'll simply find other aspects of it to focus on. Try writing an outline of your story (even just a cursory one that hits the big plot points) to make it a bit easier. Writing a novel may sound like a momentous task, but if you break it down into chapters and then each chapter into a focused section with a natural breaking point, it becomes a lot simpler to get the work done, little by little.

I'll make a note to devote a future Table post to managing workload, but I hope my thoughts on the myth of writer's block have proven useful or at least caused you to question your own motivation to write. I'd love to hear your thoughts, as there's nothing I enjoy more than discussing this kind of thing (obviously... lol).

Remember that if you're serious about being a writer, the only thing standing in your way is you! I have faith in you, and together, we can beat back the myth of "writer's block" and get back to what we do best. :)

Happy writing,
Rob

Saturday, September 19, 2009

A long-overdue update... and a call to join the Table!

Wow... So apparently, it's been several months since I've posted anything on the Table. As many of you know, my full-time job has been keeping me pretty busy, and to top it all off, I'm midway through the first draft of my first novel (Chapter 12 in progress!!!). So at least a valid excuse for stepping away from the table, even if it's been an extended leave of absence on my part.



All in all, things are going pretty well, and I feel like my creative side is starting to pick up the pace and finally become more productive again (hence this post). Every moment I can spare has been spent to either plugging away at my novel... which intermittently feels like it's going either great or terrible, though the end result is probably somewhere in between... or exploring some other part of creative outlet.



I've recently developed an interest in voice acting so I've been actively reading a book about that for the past couple weeks. This may surprise some of you... since it's not something I typically show off (in fact, only a handful of people outside of my family are aware of it), but I have long had a fascination with voices. Maybe that explains my fascination with animation (Family Guy, South Park, Robot Chicken, etc.). Anyway, I'm known to often bust out a movie or TV quote in character, and I considered it basically a useless skill good only to amuse others (and myself). But it's been great fun thus far to learn a little more about it.

In addition, I've been writing - albeit sporadically - for popular science fiction website AirlockAlpha.com, contributing movie and soundtrack reviews on a regular basis. Starting next week, I will also be posting weekly episodes reviews for the second season of Dollhouse, the new show from Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you haven't checked it out yet, you're missing out.

However, while I've been busy exploring other endeavors (and outlining the novella I'm going to write in November for NaNoWriMo - more on that later), my creative focus has remained locked on to the novel. I'm detemined to finish my initial 20 3,000-word chapters by the end of October, and because I know several of you are also working on novels or assorted other projects, I'm considering re-introducing the concept of The Crooked Table meetings. I'd like to get at least 5 of us to commit to at least monthly meetings so that we can discuss any issues we're having with our stories, our processes, etc... and also exchange some of our work for constructive critiques (yes, me too...).

So let me know if that's something you'd be interested in being a part of and what your schedule looks like. Ideally, we could arrange something for something in October so that we can discuss our goals for NaNoWriMo (or National Novel Writing Month for the uninitiated). Either comment here or shoot me a message at robertyaniz1983@gmail.com.

Oh, and one more thing: I'm planning on making more regular contributions to the Table and hopefully get its new home at www.thecrookedtable.com up and running in the next few months. In fact, I'm currently taking a daylong HTML course to help me develop my web design skills, like right this very minute!

So stay tuned (and stay patient), the Table is far from dead, my friends...

Happy writing,
Rob

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"Life sucks no matter what so don't be fooled by location change."


I think I got that from a Daria episode....remember that show?

I used it because I've learned something very valuable.

You can't force it.

You can't force happiness.

You can't force feeling amazing.

And you sure as hell can't force writing.

I kept saying it.

"When I get to Michigan I'm going to write a book. Just wait. The muse will hit me again."

Well, I'm here.

And there is not even an inkling of effort in me to write a book.

It got me thinking.

Maybe I'm not MEANT to write a book.

Sure, I'm writing.

But have I ever done anything with writing other than for me or the small community of people I choose to share my writings with?

The answer is no.

It got me thinking.

(Seems to be the trend these days lol)

I dabbled in journalism. Guess what?

I hated it.

So that idea was thrown out the window.

I thought about selling some fiction.

But we all know that's a tough market and you usually have to HAVE money to start that process....which I don't.

Maybe being a "starving artist" isn't so bad?

I think it works for me.

I still write every day that I can. I still LOVE most of what I write.

And I get positive feedback all the time.

Do I really NEED to be a best selling author?

Is it my calling?

Wouldn't it have happened by now if it was?

Now, keep in mind, I'm not knocking anyone's writing goals/dreams/schedules at all.

I just know that they don't work for me.

Writing just works for me.

And writing about WHATEVER works for me.

If I sat here and cried every day because I've only been published in small community publications then I'd probably never pick up a pen again.

So I just enjoy it.

I enjoy reading what I write and sharing it with others.

If ONE person gets something out of what I've written....well then I feel my job is done.

And who knows?

Maybe when I'm dead someone will make a killing off of my old notebooks and whatever they find on my trusty hard drive.

Good for them.

Look at Emily Dickinson and a lot of our fallen comrades.

They didn't live to see their work go anywhere.

But I bet they're happy about it now.

Who knows?

We don't really.

So just keep doing it, fellow writers.

No matter what, if you love it....do it.

And don't give up even if it's not producing the results you want.

If it's meant to happen it'll happen.

And if not....well it was fun to try now wasn't it?